New Year

I've been seriously lax in my updates.  The Christmas season ate up my time like I couldn't believe.  I forget that the holiday season takes a toll on me whether I think it does or not.  I suppose a synopsis is called for.  

Black Friday was as bad as I thought it would be, plus 10.  First thing in the morning we had plenty of people but for some reason my company decided to cut us down to one cashier for the entire day.  I was that one cashier.  It was perhaps the worst day I can think of in my 9 years of working there.  Granted all the people were very very nice and far more patient than I would be, but it was still horrible.

Moving on from there things are a blur.  My roommate and I decorated our patio in hopes of winning a place in our complex contest.  We bought new lights this year and decorated the bushes out front and everything.  It was quite the set up and we were super proud of it.  Sadly, we don't think we even placed because as of now we haven't heard anything back. 

We also did a nice job of starting a new decor idea inside.  It was a much more simple look than we do and we really liked it. :)  I'm still enjoying it and will until we decide to take it down soon.

Work went kind of crazy from then on.  People lose their minds during the holidays.  We even had a lady come out of the men's restroom complaining that there was a man in there.  I am always astounded by people's idiocy.  But for the most part it was uneventful.  The real aggravation came from my new next door neighbor.  She and her boyfriend seem to think that any time after 2am is a perfectly reasonable time to party, watch loud TV, listen to loud music, run around laughing and banging cupboards. I have called our front office so many times I am near giving up, and still the woman continues to be obnoxious. 

The highlight of December was the birth of my second "niece" Reilly.  She is so beautiful and I am so lucky to have met her the day after she came home.  :)  I am still working on both blankets, and I'm really far behind because of all this craziness. Hopefully now that the holidays are over I can get back to work on them because I have two beautiful baby girls waiting on them now.  I also got contracted into doing yet another blanket.  This one is for my boyfriend's brother's wife.  They are expecting a boy, so this will be the first boy blanket I've ever made and I'm kind of excited to do it.  I just need to get my butt in gear and get going. 

My roommate and I also got to go and see Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  We go every year, but last year we couldn't since she was in Hawaii.  It was nice to get the tradition back in order.  She left for her parents shortly after and it was just me and the cat.  Then came the snow...

We don't usually get much snow here in December, let alone Christmas time. Two storms came through and dumped something like a foot of snow on us for the week before Christmas.  It was beautiful and we are still trying to melt it all off.

Christmas was fairly uneventful.  On Christmas Eve my boyfriend and I spend time together and have our Christmas, we did that again this year.  It was a very nice night and my neighbor was gone so I got sleep.  The next day I made a massive and fantastic dinner.  I decided to try two new recipes and they turned out really good.  I was very pleased.  It was a Mexican Christmas feast!  Chicken enchiladas and Indian fry bread used for tacos.  Everyone loved it and I was so happy to do it. 

The next week at work things were very busy and I ended up getting sick.  Being sick meant that my tradition of holding a New Years Eve game party were in jeopardy.  I didn't feel well enough to make my usual chicken and noodles.  Usually I make my great grandmother's recipe for chicken and noodles.  It takes two days and is the center piece of the party so I was worried about it.  Thankfully one of my friends stepped up and volunteered to make her own chicken and noodles.  It was great and we all enjoyed it.   Game night went on no matter how sick I was and everyone had a good time, or at least I hope they did.

I'm finally starting to feel better.  I hope that I"m on the downhill slide of this and will be soon be back to normal.

Everything else is going on per normal. The fish are alive and doing well, the cat is still a crazy little ball of fur and work is still giving me too much to do with too little help and too little time.  Perhaps this year I will get lucky and have a new job.  I can only hope. 

The Want

Thanks to a mention from a friend of mine, I'm looking into DSLR camera's.  I would love to have a great camera for nature shots.  They are very expensive however.  I am battling with the want to have one, and the logical side telling me that there is no possible use and I'd be spending lots of money on.  So far it's just a thought, especially since I haven't found one that I really like.  The Nikon is up there though, and it's the one I always think of.

In other news I have started another baby blanket.  One of the two for my very good friends.  For this one I am using two yarns at once, a white yarn and a multi colored yarn.  It's beautiful so far, looking kind of like an opal and kind of like a snowflake.  :D  That's the best description I can come up with.

I applied for another job the other day.  The opening closes on the 24th, so I doubt I'll hear anything before then.  I may have a chance in hell of getting it, but I'll apply anyway.  Maybe fate will shine on me.  I can only hope, because I want a new job so bad that it's not even funny.   If I could just get a new job I could fix some of the problems plaguing my life, such as i could be happier and nicer to deal with.  That and I would be able to help my roommate with her massive depression.  I don't know how, but I just can't help feeling this would help somehow.

Recovery

I wish I could say I had some writing to post, or some art after my long absence.  Alas, I do not.  I was really sick and I'm just coming to realize how out of it I was.  I'm feeling better now thankfully, so I hope I can make some good forward progress on any or all of my projects. 

There are two things I can claim I managed to do.  I finished making all the squares for the rainbow blanket.  I have begun putting them on the main blanket, which will be nearly as arduous as the making of the 160 some odd granny squares.  This puts me on the home stretch for the rainbow blanket and I can see the finish line.  It's still a ways out but I am that much closer to starting the costume. 

I also just finished my second book of the year!  This may seem like a very small thing to anyone else, but to me it's a huge deal.  I have not finished a book in a long time.  A combination of depression and little time have made me a collector of books, not a reader of books.  This year for my resolution (which I never make, but this year I did) I resolved to read at least three books.  I am now done with two and feeling darn proud of myself.  I can feel myself coming out of the tunnel. 

Turning a new leaf

I just picked up my old journal, yes, the hand written kind.  I still prefer that to typing, though I can type faster than I can write, which I think is funny.  Anyway, I picked it up and flipped to the last entry.  Almost a year ago I was frustrated and searching for a new job while my current one was going through a change in managers.  Funny, that's exactly what's going on now.  There are a few differences, the amount of interviews, and the amount of new managers, but the biggest difference is that I feel like I'm better.  After this last round of interviews I don't feel resigned or upset, I feel...okay.  Just okay.  Not happy or settled, but okay.  I guess that's a step in the right direction. 

This year I have been trying hard to reconcile with myself.  I've been trying to get myself to mellow out and do somethings I know are good for me and my soul.  I made a resolution at New Years, an odd thing for me.  I gave myself the goal of read three books.  It's not a big goal, it's not even something important or life changing.  But to me it's a big deal.  I haven't finished a book in many years.  But just last month I finished The Lost Symbol and was so excited that I just about threw myself a party.  I've started another book now, one recommended by a former coworker. If I can finish it, that will be two of my goal of three.  That's an exciting thought. 

Its also come to me that I spend far too much time fussing over my computer and need to spend much more on the many projects I have.  Which has then lead me to realize more about myself.  I am working on a baby blanket now for someone, then my friend Carissa told me she was pregnant and now I will be making one for her as well.  Then there is the matter of my Halloween costume, which is a big project this year. I want to get it started very soon, because Carissa is the one taking pictures again this year and if she's too pregnant she won't be in any place to take pictures.  To top off my list of projects is the small, and seemingly easy task of designing a costume for Ben.  You would think this would be easy for me to do, but it's not.  It was the simple question of another former coworker that made me think about something. 

My old co worker, Monika asked me to design her a dress for her second wedding anniversary.  I had to decline because I just don't have the time and I am not talented enough to make a dress with no pattern.  It was at that moment, thinking about how much stuff I have to do, that I realized this is the stuff I should really be doing.  I wish I could do it for my job, but that's harder than anyone thinks.  So I need to start really nurturing these things.  This is the stuff that dreams are made of and that as a child I always wanted to be able to create all these things and I've done it.  I do it well enough that people actually want me to do it for them.  I am really really proud of that.  I may have failed a lot of things in my life so far, but I have succeeded in something that is very important to me without even realizing that I did. 

Its with that thought that I have been able to keep myself sort of happy lately.  Sure I have yet another new manager at work, sure my job sucks and they abuse me in every way possible.  But I have these little things to make me feel worth it.  Add those little things to the people in my life that I love and love me back, and I feel better about my situation.  Granted I'm crazy enough that this could all change tomorrow, but so far this whole week I've been able to be in a really good mood.  Here's hoping that means I'm making a turn around and coming out of this depression.