People amaze me.

I was just sitting here thinking about how people just amaze me.  Not in a good way mind you.  In that way that makes you want to grab them by their shirt and ask them what the hell is wrong with them. 

Take for example the lady I just helped out yesterday.  Now, I will preface this by saying that I understand when money is tight. But there are some things you just should NOT skimp on.   She was looking for a chest clip for her car seat.  The one she had was gone and her child was able to just pull off the straps.  After getting over the shock of the fact that she'd been driving around with her child in a seat that didn't have a chest clip at all, I asked what kind it was and how old it was an all that.  She of course wouldn't tell me straight out, but I guessed from the kind of car seat that it was very old.  Car seats have expiration dates.  You should not use a car seat that is over that date, it is unsafe, you will be found at fault by your insurance company and your child could suffer some nasty injuries from a seat that does not meet all the current safety standards. (especially if it's so old that there were no real tests or standards done on them)  I briefly tried to explain all of this to her, but she just kept saying that they never go anywhere and they didn't have the money for a new one.  I looked at this kid, who was standing up in the basket of the cart, trying to climb out while she wasn't paying attention and felt sorry for him/her.  Obviously the safety of her child was not a priority in this woman's.  I so wanted to slap her and tell her of all the ways she could get help with one and that she was being irresponsible, but I just put the chest clip in her hand and left my guilt trailing behind me. I hope to God she pulls her head out of her ass some time soon and gets something safe for that kiddo. 

Not all of my head shake moments at work are of the sort that you worry about a child living through it's ride home.  Some are laughable. 

The other day I was walking the floor, making sure everyone was alright and I ran across yet another person on their phone.  People are inseparable from their cell phones these days.  It's kind of sad.  This gal was starting her baby registry and was leaning over her cart looking bored with her head mashed into her shoulder to hold up her phone.  I had run across her at least one other time and she had ignored me completely when I had first tried to make sure she was doing okay.  This time she looked up at me and asked me if she could just turn in her registry gun, it was getting in the way of her phone call.  Somehow keeping a straight face I told her of course she could and directed her to the desk. She never put that phone down once, even as she was leaving the store. 

There are more of course, people who tell you they don't need help but are hopelessly lost and just don't want to admit it.  People that break something because they don't want help, then run away.  My least favorite are the ones that think you are the scum of the earth and give you this look when you ask if they are alright, as if you are diseased.  Not all retail workers are out to steal your soul and your wallet to go with. 

With all that, now I must go get ready to go back to the fun of my retail job. 

It must be rain drops falling from my eyes.

The sun was rising on a dreary day.  It had rained all night, apt for how Audrey felt.  She looked out the window into a grey morning and sighed.  The sidewalk turned an abrupt shade of grey where the patio above her stopped protecting it from the rain.  Water droplets clung to blades of grass, scattering in a shimmer as birds landed, and poked around for breakfast.

Breakfast.  The pit in her stomach made the idea of food unappealing.  Still, if she didn't eat something she'd be in a world of hurt by the time she got to lunch at work.  With all the strength she had, she heaved herself off the window sill and wandered into the kitchen.  The nights events played over and over in her mind.  If even he couldn't have any faith in her then it was little wonder that it felt like the whole world was against her.  Why was she doomed to have to scream, scratch and fight to get anyone to take notice of her?  No matter what happened, no one ever listened to a thing she had to say.

Flakes fell in her bowl, clicking and jostling for space.  Audrey forced herself to blink tired eyes.  The motion caused them to water and she used the back of her hand to wipe them.  They weren't tears, she was too numb to cry now, she'd done that most of the night.

Feelings of night

Wrote this the other night after I got home. 

She watched clouds skim across the face of the moon.  Silver light filtered through, bathing her in a cool glow.  Wind stirred her hair, causing a chill to run through her body.  The world was silent.  It was times like these that Audrey felt alone and at one with her self. A sad and wonderful feeling all at the same time.  More clouds covered the sky in a thin film, just enough to obscure the stars, but reflect a rainbow of colors along their edges.  They were like giant islands of crystal in the night, floating away with her emotions. 

Quick post

I will probably give a tiny update tomorrow, but for tonight, I thought I'd just post the links to the drawings I did the other day.  Enjoy!  (and wow, I have a new watcher.  I feel special.) 

The pic of Audrey

The pic of Sara