The tangled web we weave

this is a very random fan fiction.  It's meant only so that one of my friends can better understand something I told her about.  I don't want to get any feedback, I don't want to get into a war with Trolls over how this isn't right in the comic verse, movieverse, or any other verse.  It's right in mine. Also, I did not write all of this. It is a collaborative effort with my friend. I do not own these characters.   And without further ado....


(this picks up in the middle of a scene during a large breakfast where most everyone is hung over and Loki just dropped a spoon in a sink to make a loud noise on purpose.)

It was like a gong in Sif's head and she winced, waiting for the pain to pass. 

"We're staying here?"  She thought that at some point they'd be going back.  It dawned on her, that since the bifrost couldn't be opened from Asgard's side, they'd probably be here some time.

Fandral's eyes were large and round as he stared at Loki but he was not about to say another word that would cause another piece of cutlery to fall.

"Welcome to New Mexico," Loki said quietly as he watched awareness blossom behind Sif's eyes.  Then he caught Thor's expression and felt ire rise again like bile.  He set his mug down and stalked out of the Smith, making sure to slam the door as he went outside.

Thor winced and touched his head as the sound reverberated through it, sighing heavily.

"And here I thought he was being pleasant this morning," Volstagg murmured, having abandoned his apple to hold his head together.

"His anger is at me, my friends," Thor said.  "I am sorry you are also affected."

"But you've just woken up," Volstagg said.  "I don't see what..."

"It could be those marks around his neck," Fandral pointed out with a smile.  "In which case a simple apology might suffice?"

"No," Thor said.  Talking with his brother was not something he wanted to do, especially with his head pounding in time with a mad drummer.  It wasn't something he particularly wanted to do anyway.  He poked at the bagel crumbs on his plate.  "Leave him be.  The fire will settle out of him soon enough."

Loki stood outside the doors of the smith, facing the desert.  His long arms were crossed about his chest and he stood still in the dry morning.

Sif watched Loki through the glass. So much was unspoken between all of them. Time had passed since Loki took over Asgard and tried to kill Thor, but the wounds ran deep. She was uneasy. 

"is he angry about something new, or is it still from before he.." she left the words hanging.

Thor laid his head on his hand, squishing up his cheek as he regarded his brother's back.  Who could really tell what was in that black head of his?  Loki had always been a difficult one to predict, running hot and cold even as a child.  And after the destruction of the Bifrost Thor had been left with so many more questions than answers.  He still didn't know what caused Loki's descent into madness or if he had come back out of it at all.

"I know not," Thor said finally, his deep voice tired.  "Even if I could guess as to what troubles him I will likely pick the wrong thing and make the anger worse.  I still know not what I did to wrong him."

The last part was said quietly, and not without some pain

Taking in a long breath she got up from the table. It was a risk but she thought it was at least worth a try. 

Outside it was cooler than she thought it would be. 

"its a different kind of beautiful." she looked out at the desert. "have you grown to like it in your time here?" 

Loki's eyes were the only thing that moved as Sif walked up, flicking to her and then back to the mountains and the fluffy white morning clouds that drifted over them.

"Yes," he said without realizing why.  Then his mind drifted back to Jane and all of the things that she had shown to him in their relatively short time together.  This place had become so indelibly etched with her presence that he had grown to love it for that alone.  The dryness and the dust and the heat would just always go hand in hand with Jane from then on.

His posture was stiff, anger making him stand ramrod straight, head tilted slightly down, but he relaxed a tiny bit for Sif.  Curiosity made him turn towards her slightly.

 

"Good."  The smell of dust filled her nose.  "I only hope that I can too, since I'll be staying for a while." 

The option to go home was there, but the option to then come back was not.  She didn't want to be stranded in Asgard with no one to talk to.  Everyone she cared about was here.  If they weren't going home, she wasn't going home. 

"I'm sorry that you have to give up your new life here to let us join you.  I can't imagine it's hard after becoming so connected to a person.  Now you have all these intruders on your time."

The wind rustled her hair, sending a shower of gold down her back.  "I'll do my best to stay out of your way.  The others I can't vouch for.  But perhaps if you talk to Thor and set some boundaries, he may be able to rein them in."

Loki closed his eyes and his head dropped to his chest.  If he were one to fidget, as Thor was, he would have kicked at the dust.

"I was kidding myself that it would have lasted much longer," he said, completely ignoring the part about his brother.  "I lied to her.  Lies fall apart eventually."

The wind tossed a tumbleweed across the desert in front of them and Loki lifted his head to watch it.  "I...you are not in my way.  Nor are the Warriors Three, really.  Although I can't say I'm particularly happy to see them, nor are they to see me."

Thor wouldn't listen to the boundaries he wanted to set.  Thor never listened.

 

 Sif wasn't one to take sides, and now was no exception.  Seeing Loki so downtrodden was difficult though, and she felt the need to try and make him better.

It was difficult to see him without the confidence she was used to.  A twinkle in his eye as the wheels turned behind the green pools.  Always thinking, always a step ahead.  Jane had somehow rendered him useless and Sif wasn't okay with it.  Yet, she knew he was past in love.  He was in too deep, and losing her would break him further.  It was a hard line to walk. 

"That is true.  Lies never lead to anything good."  She smiled at him.  "But you've never let that stand in your way before.  I have never seen you let the downfall of your plans get in the way.  You just dance back out and carry on."

The little smile stayed on her lips, wind dancing in her hair.  Maybe she was only making it worse, but someone had to try.  While everyone else was content to tip toe around the issue, at least Sif was going to face Loki one way or another.  

 

Those words grabbed Loki's attention and he turned to regard her fully, eyes open wide.  The full weight of the words hit him like Mjolnir and left him just as stunned.  Sif was right.  Even a child could see that Sif was right; so why hadn't he?

It was the questions' fault.  He had spent every waking moment since Jotunheim questioning everything he had ever learned, everything he had ever known.  Questioning himself most of all.  It was as if he had descended into a low lying fog of doubt and whenever he tried to crawl his way out of the bog something else would be there to stand in his way, to make the questions come back.

"Give me some credit, it has yet to be a day since they last fell apart," he told Sif with a smile.  It was almost like one of his old ones.  "I'm still thinking."

He looked back over the desert, the wheels starting to turn again.  And then he hit a wall he didn't expect to hit: fear.  It was almost as if Sif could see the confidence she had managed to build back up a little bit crumble back to the ground.

She regarded him for a moment, wondering what was going on in his head.  For a moment she thought to offer him an ear if he needed it.  As the only other person that seemed to know the truth behind his relationship with Jane, she was in a unique place to help.  deciding against it was hard, but she knew that Loki would never fully confide in anyone.  Perhaps not even Jane.  She didn't know.  That was how it was with Loki, you never knew.

Like a whisper she left his side and went back inside.  The other men were silent, looking at her. 

"What?"  She arched an eyebrow.  "Just because none of you have the manhood to talk to him, doesn't mean I don't."